But having my kids so reliant on me (and they, my only company) helped me realise that they were my only priority. We finally figured out home-schooling together and began bonding like never before. Once I realised it was futile trying to keep my music afloat while learning to teach, I started rising at 5am for my own studies and to refocus. To rebuild myself. Again.
The wonderful thing about hitting bottom is that you can choose how you’d like to get back up. When you’ve got nothing and no one to come back to, it’s up to you what you’d like to do next. In fact, no matter where you are in your life – you always have a choice! (hard truth to swallow – I know) So I’m filling myself back up and sending my love and energy out there. I’ve put feelers out all over the country, as I’ve nothing at all to lose by doing so. I don’t yet know my next step, but the adventure is beginning to unfold before me; I’m sponsoring a worthy cause that appreciate my support, I’ve been filming the past few months for a COVID documentary I was invited to be in, I’ve been approached by another music label, I’ve found a dream PT-job that may consider remote working and my leaky roof is finally going to be replaced and I’ll finally be able to move into my music studio downstairs. That’s something tangible.
2020 is again full of hope and I’m so grateful for the chance to tidy loose ends and reshuffle the pieces of the puzzle while locked-down.
Here’s to the next album of sadcore songs!
Click here to check out my first one.
Photograph by Jamie Street